


The Difference

by seanchaidh



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-13
Updated: 2010-03-13
Packaged: 2017-10-07 23:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanchaidh/pseuds/seanchaidh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What good is all the power in the universe when you can't save the ones you love? An AU look at S6.  (May 2003)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Difference

_"I thought you said I could make a difference like this. When is that going to happen?"_

They were together that night, opening themselves to the universe. The energy flowed between them and through them. He felt strengthened but he also wanted to say warm and comfortable. Those were corporeal expressions, and he knew it was a sign he was still clinging to mortal terms. He had to let go of the concepts of the young before he could truly advance.

Spiritual adolescence, go figure. He stubbornly kept his conceptions of warmth and comfort, enjoying them while he could even if they did remind him of his life before this. His last days of being a man, a purely definable solid living being, and the images of his friends both then and before. Sam's bright smile as they worked together to reach a conclusion; her tears at being unable to help ease his pain. The steady support Teal'c offered, silent and strong whenever he needed help; the honest and painfully solemn pledge of friendship near the end. His strange yet fulfilling relationship with Jack as both antagonist and confidante; supposedly heartfelt words stumbling from his lips.

He'd thought of them before, but as passing thoughts - what Sam would love to see, what Teal'c would want to discuss, and how Jack would want to talk about something completely different. Now, he found himself remembering, and as the first memories overcame him, the initial touch of dissatisfaction followed. Daniel truly wondered what he was doing here.

What was his purpose?

_"There is still much for you to learn,"_ Oma replied. He could feel her examining him. He knew he was a challenge for her, from his very first days as a newborn being not quite prepared for this reality. Her energy exuded calm to sooth the ruffled impatience like a balm. _"Recall your own path, Daniel. You did not begin archaeology knowing everything. You were required to learn the elements before you could depart on your own."_

_"That's true,"_ he admitted, not about to admit how relieved he was Oma spoke normally to him now. He liked koans, but they would never be an effective means of conversation.

_"And as it once was, it is again."_

He considered those words, but images of Kheb - smoking corpses, thunderous skies - filled his mind. Now that was making a difference, being able to defeat the Goa'uld without effort or sacrifice. The power involved frightened him on some basic level, but he was still awed by it. How many worlds could he free that way? How many lives spared?

_"That is not the way, Daniel,"_ she chided. That she could read his thoughts so easily was a worry, but it was something he was quickly getting used to. It was an entirely different level of communication he wasn't quite comfortable in using.

_"Why not? You were eager to use it, and not just once. I was on Kheb, remember?"_

_"I had reason."_

_"Yes, and I do, too."_

_"Do you truly? You ask because you know the ends, but you do not understand the means. There are other ways to gain what you wish to do. When there is another way, those actions are always your last method. You told your friend Teal'c such a thing once, do you recall?"_

She managed to chastise him, but he wanted to learn the most impressive feat imaginable. _"I know, I know, but one day, I'll end up in a situation where I'll need to know that little trick."_

_"Perhaps, but you will not learn it now."_

_"Why?"_

_"Shifu did not ask this many questions,"_ she teased gently, but he knew she was trying to change the topic.

_"Why can't I learn this?"_

_"You will, in time. You are still learning your strengths, Daniel. I would be a fool to allow you to even attempt such a feat. You will learn, and you will grow. Should you come to a confrontation, you will try everything in your power before you resort to destruction."_

He remembered Teal'c's single-minded focus on avenging his lover's death, and how easily that rage, righteous as it had been, could have been his. Teal'c had asked if Daniel would have done the same, if he could have avenged himself for all the hurt and abuse Sha're had suffered under Apophis and Amaunet. Would he have thirsted for blood?

That answer was easy. He'd hope there would be another way. When Apophis came to them, tortured and dying, there had been another way. Daniel had comforted the host and eased the transition to the Land of the Dead for the scribe's tortured soul.

If something similar would happen, the story may not be the same. If his friends were the ones needing defending, what could Daniel do for them if he found them tomorrow? Glow prettily and... glow?

Knowledge and action were often separate things unless they could complement each other. Daniel had no way to bring the two together, and this worried him.

_"You have come a long way, Daniel, but there is still more to learn. You will learn what you desire when you are ready, but until then, I will not discuss this again."_ Her tone became firmer, making it clear the conversation was nearly over. _"You must overcome these younger impulses if you wish to continue along the path. They will only impede your way."_

They continued what they were doing before, but Daniel knew he couldn't concentrate as well at keeping himself open to the energy. Oma didn't comment, but he knew she was aware of it. He wondered if she ever regretted allowing him to ascend before the proper time. She'd done it out of compassion, that much he knew, but he had so much to catch up on before he was on a level playing field.

To pull a page from Jack O'Neill's book, being a spiritual adolescent sucked.

~~~

He went back to see his friends a few days after his ascension. He wasn't very strong then, just getting used to his new existence. He knew he couldn't make a physical appearance, and he couldn't interact on any meaningful level. They had just returned from their first mission without him, and he knew how much they were grieving, each in their own unique way.

And despite Oma's words, he did try to communicate. Only Jack understood.

He didn't see them for a long time. Most of his separation he spent traveling with Oma, exploring this new perspective and reality. Until the day he started to question, his friends were only passing thoughts. Once they returned to his conscious mind, he began to long for them, and before he realized it, he was being drawn back to them without being aware of it.

Following their missions became his secret pet project, something to do when Oma left him unsupervised. He suspected she knew where he went, but she never said anything. He wondered if this might be one of the lessons she was trying to teach him, since being with his friends - a joy - was also incredibly lonely. He still couldn't reach out to them on any level. He had to be content with their presence.

And yet the sight of Sam, Teal'c and especially Jack filled a void within Daniel he hadn't been fully aware of before. He watched over them, took note of what they were doing, and distracted himself with the finds they uncovered during their missions. In a way, he gave himself a small purpose, as though he were still a member of the team.

He wasn't deluding himself, on the other hand. He was glad they were continuing without him, in some form or another, though the addition of Jonas Quinn was a surprise. He couldn't see the reason why General Hammond would allow him on SG-1 after everything that happened, but he assumed there was more to the story than was immediately obvious. So he watched them interact, trying to succeed as a team but not as an unit. And when they were in danger, he tried to protect them.

He quickly learned he didn't have the strength, just as Oma warned. He knew the power was there, but it was out of his reach. He came away feeling more frustrated than helpful, and sometimes he even doubted if anyone was aware of his presence. It was enough to make him want to go away, but he couldn't. Not yet.

There was a problem with Jack.

Once he came across Jack cleaning his P-90 methodically, almost meditatively. His hands were working without the brain's assistance, and Jack's dark eyes were staring past the disassembled parts. Daniel knew that look, from Abydos a lifetime ago, but not nearly as bad. He'd hoped never to see it again, and to know he was the cause of it was a blow to Daniel's very being. The last time, he challenged Jack out of his fugue, but this time, Daniel hadn't the slightest idea what he could do to help.

Daniel was aware of the energy around him, one of Oma's lessons. He lingered near Jack, watching and observing. He seemed pale compared to the others. One night when Jack finished his watch, Daniel tried to feed him some of his energy. He did it tentatively at first, like he was offering a cat a new food, but he was rewarded by a brightening aura. With each visit, he repeated his experiment and enjoyed the results - Jack calmed slightly, slept deeper, and Daniel began to see his dreams.

At first he thought they were reflections of his own desires; his energy contained everything within him including emotions, and in some way observing them in Jack made sense. Seeing them from an outsider's perspective made Daniel chuckle, especially at the definitely unfraternal ones. The new paradox of his life, how could an incorporeal being want corporal knowledge of his definitely corporal friend?

When he saw the familiar fantasies acted out from the opposite end, Daniel realized they were Jack's. Daniel recoiled, fascinated but horrified he was able to see his friend's wants and desires - all of which seemed to focus on Daniel. Each one was filled with so much longing, it hurt, and the grief wasn't just for Daniel's physical loss. It was for what might have been.

Daniel watched. He'd never known Jack felt this way, and not once had he dreamed it possible. Five years of friendship, with the highs and lows their relationship brought, and Daniel never saw a sign of anything more than friendship being offered. He ached for Jack and their lost opportunities, until he couldn't bear it any longer.

He didn't know if it was for Jack or himself that he fled.

~~~

The wonders of the universe were almost enough to help him forget. Daniel let himself be caught up in the process of discovery and learning, feeling himself grow and strengthen. If thoughts of SG-1 came to him, he pushed the distraction away with increasing ease. He stopped asking questions about power and ways to help his friends, and yet he knew Oma was aware of his inner turmoil. She didn't say anything, and Daniel was glad for the silence.

Even if Daniel was a being of energy, the universe had its own plans for his life.

He ran into SG-1 again, a twist Daniel found surprising, but at the same time welcome. He was glad to see them, and relieved they were all right. He hovered around them, still invisible to them as they set up their camp and prepared for the mission's specifics. Daniel smiled as he spotted the sample containers by Sam's bag, and the patently bored expression on Jack's face.

This was just like old times.

Daniel remained with them for several hours, as they explored and finally retired for the night. He stayed with Jack, and out of habit, fed him energy. But this felt different. He sensed a tug, something wanting to shift his consciousness. He was alarmed for a moment, then realized he was being pulled into Jack's dreams.

"You look different," Jack said, as clear to Daniel as Oma's voice was. Daniel looked around them and recognized Jack's fireplace, and the chess set placed between them. "Did you get a haircut?"

Daniel blinked. _"Is this real? Can you see me?"_

"You're the guru. You tell me."

_"I'm not sure what to say, to tell you the truth."_

"Huh." Jack reached to play with a figure on the board, turning the piece around in its square before glancing up at Daniel. "I know you're back. Watching us out there, I mean. You were gone for a while."

_"You knew?"_ Daniel asked, surprised but pleased in some way.

"Yeah. I would... feel better. Like now." Jack tapped his chest and shrugged. "But maybe that's just me being sentimental."

_"Well, I did try to, um, give you energy,"_ Daniel mused.

"So that's what it was?"

_"Yeah..."_

The smile on Jack's face was the one Daniel remembered from long ago. "That's sweet."

Daniel ducked his smile before Jack could catch the responding grin on his own face. _"I had nothing better to do."_

"A whole galaxy to explore and billions of people to play with, and you pick me. I'm not sure if I should tell you off for not having a life, or something like that." An uneasy pause came between them, and Jack took the time to arrange the pieces back to their original position. He waited for a moment, then picked one to move forward. He waved his hand at Daniel to play his turn. "I missed you when you were gone."

_"I've... been busy,"_ Daniel admitted, not ready to say why he'd been gone so long. He made his move, before settling back on the couch.

"I'll bet. Learning the secrets of the universe still a thrill for you?"

_"It... has its moments."_

"I'd hope so."

_"You'd love it."_

"You sure it wouldn't go over my head?" Jack finished pondering his strategy, moving his next piece.

_"Sometimes it goes over my head."_

"No way!"

_"You'd be surprised,"_ Daniel retorted, laughing softly as he played his turn.

"No, I'm seriously shocked."

_"There's a lot to take in,"_ he said.

"Like...?"

_"A lot of stuff that would have Sam fainting in shock."_

"And that's the stuff you find a bit mind-boggling?" Jack teased.

_"Well, yeah. I'm an archaeologist, not a rocket scientist."_

"Sure you haven't turned into Doctor McCoy in the meantime?"

_"I'm serious."_ Daniel watched Jack make his turn, and played the move he'd been considering for the last few moments. He fingered the piece on its new spot, wondering if he should admit what he really wanted to say. _"I guess I'm not always concentrating."_

"I wasn't aware there was an ascended version of ADD."

_"No. I mean, I have a lot of things on my mind, things Oma says I should let go of if I want to continue this path."_ Daniel shrugged, taking his hand away and cradling both in his lap.

"Boots."

Daniel glanced up, frowning. _"What?"_

"The monk on Kheb wanted us to take off our boots before we got into his sandbox."

_"Oh, yeah. I did have to agree about the odor thing."_

"Ascended and you're still tormenting me." Jack glanced down at Daniel's feet, and lifted an eyebrow. "Still got them on, I see."

Not quite aware of what he looked like in this dream, Daniel followed Jack's gaze and found himself dressed in civvies. White sweater, cream slacks, but he was wearing his expedition boots. Okay, that was odd. _"Apparently..."_

"Good ankle support," Jack offered.

_"They don't exactly go with everything..."_ Daniel replied, still eyeing his footwear.

"Then you change your outfit to match, or your shoes. Whatever."

_"You're giving me fashion advice?"_

"Better you than me. I still thank Carter on a regular basis for getting you new clothes."

_"It was either that or going naked. I still don't know what happened to everything in my locker."_

Jack managed to look pleased and innocent at the same time. "I'm sworn to secrecy."

_"Are you going to just sit there and look smug, or are you going to play?"_ Daniel demanded.

"I'm thinking."

_"I thought I smelled something..."_

"Smartass." Jack reached for a piece, looking as though he was going to up the ante in the game. "It really is good to see you, Daniel. Even here, like this."

_"It's nice to be seen."_

Jack's hand stopped moving and he fixed his dark gaze on him. "I mean it. I, um, know you left after you saw..."

_"Oh, that?"_

"Don't 'oh, that' me."

_"It was nothing."_

"Sure. You want to know how long you've been gone, astroboy?"

_"I mean..."_ Daniel worried his lip between his teeth, wondering how to word the reciprocity of his feelings. _"What I saw and felt from you is exactly how I feel for you."_

Jack blinked, staring at him for a long while. His fingers remained around the chess piece, and Daniel reached out to cover his hand. Slowly, he dragged hand and figure forward to a new square. He caressed the fingers as he waited for Jack to speak.

"Those are really big boots," Jack finally said.

_"Oma thinks so,"_ Daniel agreed.

"So... what are you going to do about it?"

_"I, uh, don't know."_

The look Jack gave him was not too pleasant. "What's that supposed to mean?"

_"I wasn't exactly expecting to have this conversation, Jack. This is as much of a surprise for me as it is for you."_

"True, but while we're dealing with the big issue, I have to tell you this. The team isn't the same without you, Daniel. Nothing is, to tell you the truth. Might there be a chance you may, oh, want to come back?" Jack eyed him for a moment. "Unless you're honestly doing the bigger things you thought you could do out there."

Daniel sighed, pulling his hand away. _"I'm tempted."_

"So do it," Jack urged, leaning forward to fix him with a stare. "Please."

_"Jack..."_ Daniel pleaded for him to stop with the cajoling.

"So I'm being selfish. Sue me!" Dark eyes stared at him then fell away. "But I'm not heartless. I knew I was losing my only chance with you when you left, when I told Jacob to stop healing you. I did what you wanted then. If you really feel this is the only way you can help and truly be happy, I'm behind you. Not thrilled, but there."

_"That's... almost romantic,"_ Daniel said, and he couldn't help the smile coming to his lips.

Jack blushed. "Well, you know..."

_"I do,"_ Daniel agreed, _"but I should tell you, there's a lot of things I can't do yet. I have way too many things to learn, and it might take me a while."_

"Things like what?"

_"Oh, like learning how to play like Zeus with the thunderbolts. Important stuff."_ Daniel paused, glancing down at the nearly forgotten chessboard. _"And I bet descending is one of those things."_

"Orlin could do it."

_"And Orlin came by these skills naturally. I'm just learning them,"_ Daniel shot back.

"So you're basically saying you haven't made your difference yet."

The insight surprised Daniel, especially that Jack had seen it. _"No, not yet."_

"But after that...?"

_"Possibly."_

"Yeah?"

_"I should think so."_

"Then go for it, and when you're ready, trade those boots for ruby slippers." Jack grinned. "Your reward awaits."

_"It sounds good to me,"_ Daniel agreed, cringing at the Wizard of Oz cliché before pointing his finger at Jack accusingly. _"And don't you dare call it my eternal reward."_

"Me?" Jack asked, all innocence and cheer before... he vanished.

_"Daniel!"_

The living room was gone, and Daniel was elsewhere before Oma Desala. Something was different; Daniel could almost sense the storm brewing within her. He cringed, realizing he'd crossed some unknown barrier and was about to hear all about it.

_"What have you done?"_ she demanded.

_"I was talking to my friend,"_ Daniel said, suddenly feeling very young on top of being disorientated at the sudden change. _"I wasn't aware that was a problem."_

_"No, you have done something. Tell me what you did before you spoke with him."_

_"I shared myself with him,"_ he said, and he honestly didn't know why it was a problem.

_"In what way?"_ Oma sounded alarmed, her energy taking on a bright tinge. She circled him, her tendrils touching his. _"How often?"_

_"I knew he was tired, so I just..."_ He demonstrated how, a gentle touch that had gone into Jack's body. He remembered it with a warm shiver. _"I don't know how many times."_

_"Then it wasn't full contact,"_ she said, her ire calming.

_"Um, no..."_ He wondered if that was the action Sam had reported with Orlin, the communion between energy and flesh. What would it be like to do that with Jack, to merge himself in a pure, wondrous way? He warmed to the idea, wondering how it might be done and how it would feel...

_"This is why you aren't progressing,"_ she snapped. _"You are wasting your valuable energy when you cannot spare it. It is holding you back, and this cannot continue. You are not overcoming your younger impulses."_

_"Are you implying love is a younger impulse?"_ Daniel demanded, refusing to hear what she was saying.

_"The lotus blooms but lasts for a day."_

_"My love for Jack goes far deeper than something so short-term,"_ he retorted.

_"Erotic love has its place, Daniel, but if you fixate yourself upon it, you neither progress nor withdraw. It is only a young impulse if you choose to let it control you."_

That made sense, but Daniel wasn't sure it was accurate. _"I'm not being held back."_

_"Nor are you progressing,"_ she chided.

_"So what are you saying?"_

_"Continue along the path. Learn to control your emotions until they no longer overwhelm you."_ She paused, and caressed him affectionately. _"I speak not only of your love, but also of your hate. You must seek balance. Master yourself, Daniel."_

_"I'll try,"_ he reluctantly said.

_"I know you will. You feel too deeply, and this continues to be your stumbling block."_ And now her voice held a warning. _"If you fail to strike a balance, and you rush into an action without consideration, I may not be there to help you."_

_"What do you mean?"_ He had the idea of being put in a cosmic corner to wait the requisite time out, but Oma's serious tone banished the idea a moment later. _"What might happen?"_

_"The middle path,"_ she said, _"between mortality and demise. The choice is yours."_

~~~

Daniel chose.

He began to make progress. Small things at first, he succeeded with making simple manipulations of the universe around him. Some of it was easy and required no thought. Other parts were harder, and he struggled to finish his tasks. It was pretty clear he was eons away from achieving the spectacular show Oma made on Kheb, but he knew it would happen.

Maybe if he tried really hard? No, Oma warned against forcing himself beyond reason. He would have to build himself up to that level, and it would take time.

The emotions and baggage were harder to give up. He spent a lot of time reflecting, trying to sort out his feelings. Some were easy to work through and put in their proper place - his love for Jack, his loyalty to his friends, the grief he still felt over Sha're. Other things were not so easy to address, and foremost of those was his hatred for the Goa'uld. He couldn't begin to fathom how to address that issue, or even where to begin.

But seeing how Oma wiped out all the Jaffa on Kheb... he wondered if it was a non-issue. Pot calling the kettle black, plank in one's own eye and all that. He saw how it could become a problem, though, and promised himself he'd work on it. Later.

In the meantime, he began pushing his own limits, trying to expand his talents. It worked only so far, then he quickly realized he needed to stop before losing control. The idea scared him, and he didn't want to know what Oma would say if it happened. As long as he followed the basic rules Oma gave him, things would be all right.

Traveling alone, Daniel was a finally making a difference, even if they were little ones. The experiences were rewarding, and he relished the concept of following his conscience without being checked by military procedures and interests.

Score one for the ascension, and minus two for not having Jack.

His awareness expanded, Daniel found he was becoming sensitive to loud interruptions in the normal flow of the universe. They were fairly common, small and otherwise not very noteworthy. Larger ones occurred, but he was usually in Oma's company when they happened. She would steer him away and tell him it wasn't his concern. Others would take care of it, she said.

This time, he was alone when it happened. He was assaulted by an intense wall of anguish. It overwhelmed him, disorienting him with its sheer pain before he could steady himself. He moved in that direction, drawn toward the source. It was a planet, one on the Stargate network. He found Jaffa there, destroying the settlements near the Stargate driven by their master's unperceivable whim.

In the middle of it all was SG-1, ambushed with two other teams in an attempt to evacuate the inhabitants. Their procedure was familiar SOP: draw the Jaffa's attention as they tried to get the people through the Stargate. It wasn't going well. The teams, along with the inhabitants, were sustaining heavy casualties. Daniel recognized Major Griff and Jonas Quinn sprawled among the dead. He saw scenes of horror - parents failing to protect their children, and terrified toddlers pulling at dead mothers' hands.

Senseless deaths.

Rage swelled through Daniel's entire being, and he reached inside himself for the strength he knew was there. Collecting and drawing it together, he let it explode in the air and toward the ground. He became the wind, forcing the clouds together to clash and collide and make thunder. He focused it all to an explosive roar, readying himself to unleash it onto the evil around him.

"Daniel!" Jack, bleeding and holding his position, yelled up to the sky. "What the hell are you doing?"

Jack didn't see the Jaffa turning, taking advantage of his distraction to aim and fire. Teal'c called out, his warning coming too late for Jack. Daniel lashed out, intercepting the blast in mid-flight. He absorbed the energy and threw it back, letting it trigger the retribution from the heavens.

This hurt! Energy flew, each bolt being ripped directly from Daniel's being. He could feel the cost of this, but he pushed himself further and further until he knew with dead certainty the threat was gone. It was over quickly, the dead Jaffa falling to the ground as Daniel withdrew. He felt tired, lifeless, and strangely solid.

He fell.

Arms caught him, lowering him to the ground, the voices loud as hands shook him. His head lolled back, eyes slightly open but not registering what he was seeing. He saw a face - gray hair, dark eyes, pale and bloodied skin - staring down at him with concern. Daniel let himself smile, feeling numbed lips curving strangely.

"Jack..." he whispered. The grass felt cool against his overheated skin, and rough material cushioned his cheek. This was wrong. Why was he feeling this? But the hand running down his arm was so comforting. He sighed, wondering if he could let go...

"I need a blanket!" Jack yelled, then lowered his voice to a tolerable level. "It's over, Daniel. All over. You made the difference. The Jaffa are gone, and you're here."

"Can't touch me," Daniel mumbled. This made no sense. He was ascended and beyond the realm of human flesh. Wasn't he?

"Oh, yes, Daniel." There was soft, disbelieving amusement in Jack's voice. His arms gathered Daniel up, helping someone wrap something around him. Warmth, comfort, and a strong grip circled him, helping him lean against Jack's chest. "That's definitely me touching you."

"How?"

"Sir, if he ascended then it makes sense he could descend," a gentle voice replied, drawing Daniel's attention from Jack's face. He tried to focus on his hands, at the pain he felt and the gentle touch of something winding its away around one. Blonde, bright smile. "Orlin did, but I don't understand how it could happen and Daniel not be aware of it."

"Sam?"

"Hey, Daniel. Don't move. I have to take care of your hands," she explained calmly, voice trembling, finishing with the right and going for the left. "They're burned. You've got classic Lichtenberg patterns all over your palms. That was an impressive light show you put on."

"Burn?" Daniel held the bandaged hand up, unable to see anything past the white bandages. Radiation burn? He feared the flesh would begin to drop off all over again, but that wasn't right. "Good burn, Sam?"

She stared at him for a moment, then began to nod. "It's going to be all right. They're going to heal this time."

"Oh." Daniel looked around them, at scorched gray lumps on the grass and brighter bodies sprawled helplessly nearby. He felt dizzy, and swallowed hard at the unwelcomed return of nausea, one thing he hadn't missed. "I'm fine. Help the others."

He didn't know why Sam smiled and Teal'c looked pleased. Lips pressed against his ear, a welcomed warmth sending shivers down his spine. A nice distraction from his body's complaints. "I'm sitting this one out, Daniel. I kind of have my arms full."

"Help is arriving through the Stargate, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c knelt and put one hand against Daniel's bare ankle. Why were they touching him? "I will assist them in time."

"Oh," he said again. His head tilted to the side, and Jack held him closer. "Nice..."

"Just rest, Daniel," Sam soothed, smoothing her hand along his arm. "We'll get you home soon."

He liked the sound of that. He closed his eyes, relaxed in Jack's warmth, and waited.

~~~

When they brought him home, he faded. Barely aware of the voices greeting him, he was conscious of only one thing: pain. It kept him anchored to his surroundings and prevented him from drifting off. Where would he go? He didn't know, and he wasn't willing to find out. He kept his focus on his hurting hands, and on Jack's steady grip on his arm.

He was home, and he was descended.

Daniel didn't understand why. He lay there, hands being treated and his vitals monitored. He couldn't think of a reason why he was human again. Thinking was the only energy he had, otherwise he lay there unresponsive to Janet Fraiser's touch. Even her torture flashlight couldn't get a reaction beyond a flinch.

He was so tired, and yet he couldn't sleep. He kept being distracted by strangely intense tactile sensations mortality had brought back. The bed he lay on, the sheet and gown covering his body, the IV stabbed into his elbow, the oxygen tube snaked around his ears and under his nose, and the hands - usually Jack's but sometimes Sam's - securely holding onto him.

He had been here before, submitted to this experience countless injuries ago, and it felt new. Why was he here? He needed the question answered, but he couldn't seek them. He couldn't even open his eyes. Not yet. Too much effort. He wanted to sleep, he was so tired.

"Hey." A tap between his eyebrows drew his attention away from everything, but only for a moment. "It's me. Doc says you're going to be okay, just that your batteries are really low. It's nothing sleep and her magic cocktails can't cure. I have to go for a while, General Hammond wants us to debrief. Just give me a shout if you need anything. Let Doc know. Okay?"

A pause, and then Jack stole a kiss. His lips were firm and dry, brushing against his. Daniel savored it, and he chose that as the sign he really was here.

He could sleep now.

~~~

Light urged him to open his eyes. Oma was there, hovering at his bedside. She concentrated on exploring his body, her touches warm and causing his skin to tingle. It felt reassuring, but if it was meant for herself or him, Daniel didn't know. He sat up and pulled the sheet around his waist to cover himself.

_"Your actions were foolish,"_ she said, withdrawing to take her human shape.

"I was justified," he replied, and he could see the horrible images from the planet. He shuddered before shaking his head. "If I was faced with the same thing, I would do it again."

_"You chose,"_ Oma's voice was neither condemning nor angry, but she did sound... resigned. _"By acting and pushing beyond your limits, you were faced with your own demise. You succeeded in defeating the enemy, but you succeeded in destroying yourself."_

"But I'm still here." Realizing he was free from medical paraphernalia, he knew he was dreaming. Just like the first time he spoke to Oma, all those months ago. "I didn't die."

_"I caught you."_

"Why?"

_"For all your impatience and your questioning, you have great promise."_ She reached out to caress his cheek. _"I knew you were not ready for ascension, but it was true, a life you were not ready to live was far better than death. That I do not regret."_

"So what does this mean?"

_"All paths lead to the same source,"_ she said. _"Some meander instead of being direct. Yours is one of those. When you are ready, I will return for you."_

"Oh." Daniel looked down at his hands, then returned his gaze to her. "Oma, thank you, for everything. It's been... incredible."

_"You will see it again. Perhaps then, you may bring with you a companion."_ Her smile widened, and Daniel swore she winked at him. _"One who can hold you back better than me."_

Was it possible to blush in a dream?

_"And as your friend Jack would say, 'follow the Yellow Brick Road,'"_ she finished.

"He would say that," Daniel agreed. He blinked, and found Oma becoming brighter and brighter. He held one hand up to his eyes, trying to squint at her but found it impossible. "Oma?"

"Whoa, Daniel, careful of your hands!" Warm fingers clasped his bandaged hand and brought it back down to his side. They moved to smooth against his wrist as Jack's voice came closer. "Come on, Daniel. Wake up already. Enough with this sleeping thing."

Daniel blinked again, and Jack's face came into almost-focus. He stared at those dark eyes for a moment and found he was smiling. "Jack?"

"Good morning to you, too," Jack greeted, not about to sit back. The chair looked nice, a swivel back rolling one probably stolen from Janet's office. "I think three days are enough to catch up on your beauty sleep."

Three days? Not too bad. Daniel looked around him and saw they were alone. Curtains cut the view of his bed from the rest of the infirmary, but this privacy wouldn't be there for long.

"Do you need anything?" Jack continued, beginning to get concerned.

"Coffee?" he asked, trying for a hopeful tone.

"No."

But he knew there was some nearby. The scent carried so nicely over to the bed. "Please?"

"No way."

"I descend and this is what I get."

"Don't you look at me that way. Lip goes right back to the non-pout position," Jack demanded. "Do you want me in trouble with Fraiser?"

"I need something special to celebrate my return," Daniel accused. "If it's not coffee, then what?"

"Nice to see you're feeling better," came the retort. "No coffee, Carter's not here with the cookies yet, and I won't even answer if you ask for chocolate. I think those are your three vices."

"Oh. I need a new one."

"Apparently, though not in the infirmary."

Daniel dropped his voice to a whisper. "How about a kiss?"

Jack laughed then let out a long suffering sigh. "Oh, fine..."

This was better than the last one. A hundred times more. Short, sweet, and Daniel got to participate this time. He savored it, feeling the slight rasp of stubble on both their cheeks, and a hint of coffee in Jack's mouth. Sweet. He brought his hand up to cup the back of Jack's neck, trying to draw it out a bit longer and hoping Jack was the one on the listen for Janet's approaching clicking heels.

"Welcome home, Daniel," Jack said a moment later, pulling away. His face grew serious. "You are home for good, right? This isn't a vacation or something?"

"No, I'm back," he said.

"Good. Nice work on the planet, by the way," Jack added. "Pretty thorough."

"I try." Feeling smug and happy, Daniel settled back against the pillow with a smile. His one stolen kiss on base. Perfect. There would be time for conversations later, about what they could and couldn't do on base. That could wait... assuming they were on the same team again. "Jack?"

"Yeah?" He looked up from pulling the blanket down around Daniel's lap.

"Can I be on SG-1 again?"

"Maybe..."

"What do you mean by maybe?" Daniel demanded.

"Oh, maybe, just tell us how you managed to do that pretty light show?" Jack grinned, shrugging at the outraged look on Daniel's face. "Hey, it might come in handy. So? Spill."

"Well... it's technical."

"I gather."

"And, well, I doubt we have what I'd need here."

"I'm listening."

Daniel waited for a moment, pretending he was trying to remember. "It took a lot of effort."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Daniel grinned. "I clicked my ruby slippers three times."

Jack groaned, reaching out to ruffle Daniel's hair - not too roughly but enough to put Daniel's hair out of place. Just like old times, a celebration of being young, or as young as gray hair could allow them to be. But for all the truths in the universe Daniel was missing, he was content with just one as clichéd as it might be.

There's no place like home.

*fin*


End file.
